Late Night Ranting

Yes
Time for some ranting!
Well technically
Its type out
But yea
I don't give a pickle
I was torn between
Ripping off Jeff Dunham's Marriage Routine
and this next rant
Which I choose
So enjoy

Singapore Idol

I was sitting one night at home
and at freakking 11pm at night
I could hear screams of aunties and adolescent girls
All over my neighborhood
Then it hit me
Sezairi must have won

Well
I'm gonna let myself finish
but I have to say
TAUFIK BATISAH WAS THE BEST SINGAPORE IDOL OF ALL TIME!

Alright
Back to Sezairi
Yet again
More adolescent and teenage girls
gave a damn about Singapore Idol
and every other person with a good ear
and with an actual working mind
Seriously?
A guy around my age
Thin as a stick
freckled face
nerd
Is
OUR COUNTRY'S IDOL???
God
Even I can become famous at this rate

Okay
I should lay off the trash talk for abit
And give the archtop wielding singer a break
And for you people
who are not as proficient as Sezairi with guitars
The Archtop is a hollowbody guitar that Sezairi uses
Which reminds me....
HE HAS MADE THAT GUITAR HOT!
Not in the sense of beautiful hot
In the sense that
PEOPLE WANT AN ARCHTOP NOW!

I was at Peninsula Plaza one day
Buying picks and an ESP Catalog for a friend at Davis Guitar
When I noticed that an ITE guy
has just purchased an Archtop guitar
So I said
OUT LOUD
to my ex-coworker
"ehk,Sezairi dah famous ehk
until people want to buy his guitar sia"
right in front of the customer
What added to my humour
was when
I was hanging out with my friend
Ezuwan
At his workplace
another music store called Music Theme
Then
About one hour in
He had a customer looking for a hollowbody guitar
GUESS WHAT TYPE HE WAS LOOKING FOR!
I laughed my ass off

Now you people must be wondering
Why I find this
the slightest bit funny
Well for one thing
I don't think its a coincidence that Archtop sales are gonna increase
in coordination with Sezairi's Singapore Idol Win
Because I find it funny
that people are actually
Inspired
by him
GOD

My girlfriend told me
that he was once from NAFA
and dropped out
Then
I replied
"yeah, of course.
All the classical players were going apeshit fingerpicking
on their classical guitars
playing some extremely complicated piece
while Sezairi was hanging about at one corner
with his archtop
Going
Jeng kejek Jeng kejek"
Okay okay
All you Sezairi fans
He might have skill
OKAY?
I shall give him the benefit of a doubt
other than that
He's just the 4th Jonas Brother

Now
I shall tell you
the reason why
I kinda hate Sezairi
Yes
I am jealous
Not of his popularity
NOT ONE BIT
for whatever talent he has
I am jealous
for the most
weirdest reason of all
HE GOT TO PLAY ALONGSIDE ADDY FUCKING CRADLE
One of my guitar idols
the man who merged javaness music with rock and metal
played with Mr. Jeng Kejek Jeng over there
...
Speechless
absolutely speechless

Other than that
I do think he is a fine guy
Average
But Please
I beg of you MediaCorp
If there is ever
Another Asian Idol
Or World Idol
Send Taufik
Please?
Not Hadi
Not Jeng Kejek Jeng
Taufik Batisah

Idol is a talent contest
not just
a popularity contest
Don't let coolness
cuteness
hotness
prettiness
and all the other -ness in between
get in the way
of music
For music
is the most beautiful
form
of
human emotion turned to energy

With Love,Honesty and Sincere Apologies
WanNor "Slasher" Valentine™